Dear Soul Hacker,
Some close girl friends tell me I have commitment issues. Almost all of my friends are married and – don’t get me wrong – the thought of having a family of my own also makes me smile. But I get bored easily in relationships. I jump from one date to the next, and there are so many pretty girls in Thailand it makes it even more difficult! =P Still, a certain emptiness within me comes and goes, and sometimes I feel my friends could be right. What do you think?
Thank you for being so genuine. I would like to know more about your life (e.g.: have you lived in many different places; do you practice extreme sports; tend to like change in other areas of your life, etc.) but I will just go ahead and answer with the info you have put forward already.
First of all, we are all on different paths. You might be afraid of commitment, yes, but you might not be ready for one either. At the end of the day, it is a decision each individual makes consciously or unconsciously, often due to experiences lived and it is better to stay single if one isn’t ready. I am a firm believer that as with spirituality (the Master will appear when the pupil is ready), love will find you when it must.
What does concern me a little bit though is that on one side you mention getting bored and on the other the choice of many pretty girls around you. This makes me wonder if you might be placing too much importance on looks and too little on substance, which could be the reason why you get bored so often.
I would make a list of attributes you would like someone with whom you could see yourself starting a family one day with to have. And next time you go out on a date with someone, check if she ticks any of the boxes. It will show you where your heart is and where you could maybe work on a bit.
Best of luck,